Jordan, ‘10

Resolution for 2009:  No negativity, no fear, no regrets–no excuses.  Sounds simple enough–let’s see how strong my will power is.  I think it’s pretty strong–see, positivity abounds. 

Anyway, down to the most important matter of this post.  I haven’t written in a while–particularly because I wanted to be able to use that title for this post and partially because this year is all about positivity, new starts, and the power of intention.  My first decision for the new year:  Change my major.  I was a Bio major, Spanish and Creative Writing double minor with a Pre-Med concentration.  Now, I’m a Bio and Journalism double major with a Pre-Med concentration.  This was my last chance to do so and I took the initiative to incorporate what I’m really passionate about into what I’ve been trying to accomplish all of this time.  Clearly, I love to write.  The Spider Diary blog has been just one outlet for my passion. 

This choice to finally focus on writing came at a very high price.  In the last year, I’ve experienced a shattered heart (not so important in retrospect) and lost my best friend to cancer (a second, more devastating shattering).  With a little perspective everything I feel or have felt seems so small compared to the suffering of others around the world.  Not the least of which is the suffering of her parents.  However, the shock left a dirty taste in my mouth.  I wanted to believe that I could cultivate happiness within myself, which I still believe.  But one of the things that makes me happiest–that is cultivated within myself–needed and needs to take up a much larger portion of my life if I want to have any chance of feeling fulfilled while I’m working. 

 So here I am, in Florida on vacation, dreaming of a day not so far away and not so wistfully imagined as it has been in the past. 

I.will.write.       yeah.

Jordan

Drawing by P. Burns.

Quotes of the week:

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” 

 - James Dean

“Keep your dreams alive.  Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.  Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” 

 - Gail Devers

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

-Oscar Wilde

As the title suggests, I am almost finished with my first round of tests.  I received my first test back as well and I did pretty well on that. 

Otherwise (hey, I had to call this post something, right?), life is plodding along this week.  Saw a couple of movies this weekend that were pretty great and my circle of friends is doing pretty well too.

Now to the meat (ick) of this blog piece.  On Thursday, I got a very strong craving to be creative.  It happens occasionally and it’s dangerously persistent–the urge is almost how I imagine a crack addict craves his next hit.  Yes, before you ask (or wonder), I’m addicted to creativity (but there are worse things to be addicted to–see crack above–so I don’t think it’s dramatic or bad).  Just every once in a while I need to sit down and paint, draw, write, play my guitar, free talk, dream, something until the feeling leaves me.  Because it’s a purging of sorts, what comes out is usually garbage.  Luckily, though, I’ve developed my skill for pulling out the one priceless antique stranded among the decaying mass. 

So, er, back to my story.  On Thursday, the urge struck me while I was watching a bizarre movie called Ghost World starring Thora Birch (American Beauty), Steve Buscemi (Reservoir Dogs, Armageddon), and Scarlett Johansson (Match Point).  You have to be in a particular mood to watch the movie, but overall I liked its message.  And who doesn’t like Steve Buscemi–in anything?  Anyway, I digress again, I took out my journal (the paper-hardcover variety) and drew a strange creation that reminds me, abstractly, of myself and how I feel.  Though I still need to color parts of it, the overall effect is great.  So I decided to share.

 This concludes my wayward post and I hope you see now that the down-time in college is best filled with quirky constructive activities–at least I can share these with my friends too.

Create–anything,

Jordan

Quotes of the week:

“Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality.” - Beatrix Potter

“It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.” - Edward de Bono

“Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.” - Edwin Land

“Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.” - Martin Luther King Jr.

“The life of the creative man is lead, directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes.” - Saul Steinberg