Grant, ‘11

So, It’s the 12th of December, and I have twinges of joy traveling up my spine.Some of this is attributable to the fact that I’m halfway done with finals, and less than a week away from my birthday, Christmas, and a whole lot o’ down time with my family. But most of my joy stems from the 70+ degree weather we’ve been having lately.It all started a couple weeks ago. Hearing of Richmond’s sizeable endowment, Santa Clause visited the university to see if he could pawn off surplus laboratory equipment his elves had built. Unfortunatly, he was a bit late in coming due to negotiations with Iranian nuclear scientists lasting longer than he expected (the scientists were disappointed to learn that they’d be recieving coal instead of the yellowcake they asked for). By the time St. Nick actually got around to coming, it was too late to haggle, and he decided to carouse a bit with Richmond’s students,  coolpeople that we are. When my turn came to sit on santa’s bench (he gave up the lap thing after an incident with Marilyn Manson), I decided to see if we couldn’t come to a deal that would serve both our interests. “Santa,” said I, “You know I’ve been a good kid for quite a while now, and instead of big gifts, I’d like you to do me a favor this year.” “Ho Ho Ho, Santa would be happy to do what he could for a good little boy” said Santa, in a tone reminiscent of Bob Dole. So I told him. The way I saw it, he and Mrs Clause could retire someplace warm if he’d just melt the polar icecaps. When he inquired with a chuckle “Ho Ho, Now why would santa want to do a thing like that?”, I informed him that a good many powerful people and nations owned arable land at high altitudes, and that if he and his elves were willing to accelerate global warming, those people and nations would stand to gain a great deal of power. While Santa Clause agreed that he was getting awfully tired of cold weather in his old age, I left that bench without a clear answer.In the last couple of days, the weather in Richmond has been warm enough for shorts, with no end in sight. The sun is-a-shining, and the water levels are rising- I am optimistic that the future holds good tidings for the new year.